


No More Mr. Nice Shredder

by LuckyLadybug



Series: Exit the Fly [21]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 1987)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 18:33:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9455132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuckyLadybug/pseuds/LuckyLadybug
Summary: 1987 series, my Exit the Fly verse. A bizarre accident with a rebuilt Relaxatron and Donatello's personality-altering ray leaves Shredder acting nice. Chaos ensues.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The characters are not mine and the story is! ThickerThanLove provided interesting input all along the way. This is part of my Exit the Fly verse. Baxter is human again and an ally of the Turtles. His brother Barney works for Shredder.

Krang was in a good mood when Barney emerged from his laboratory to have breakfast. The alien brain cackled, holding something in his tentacles that looked very familiar.

Barney raised a tired eyebrow. "You've rebuilt the Relaxatron," he noted.

"That's right!" Krang said in a sing-song voice. "It was too good a project not to use again."

"Are you going to expect us to open another stress clinic?" Barney wondered.

"No, I think this time I'll just let Bebop and Rocksteady take the Relaxatron and start zapping anyone on the street," Krang grinned. "They love assignments like that. It's one of the few things they can do without failing."

"Brilliant, Krang," Shredder said dryly as he appeared from the opposite end of the hall. "Have you forgotten the time they decided to use the anxiety ray on everyone they encountered . . . including us?!"

"That won't happen again," Krang said with a flippant shrug of his robot body. "And just to make sure it doesn't, you're going with them."

Shredder scowled. "How did I know you were going to say that?"

Barney folded his arms. "What do you want me to do, Krang?"

Krang smiled. "I think I'll let you choose. You can either stay here and monitor the situation with me or you can go with them."

"Why does he get to choose?" Shredder whined. "He's only been here a few months, while we've known each other for years!"

"He gets to choose because you left him out of your plans for the previous mission," Krang replied. "That wasn't my idea."

Barney smirked at Shredder before answering. "I'll stay here, at least for now. I don't have any particular desire to be accidentally or deliberately zapped by the Relaxatron."

"Very well," Krang purred. "We'll watch the transdimensional screen together. Shredder, go find Bebop and Rocksteady. You're to leave right after breakfast."

Shredder clenched his fists, muttering to himself as he plodded off.

"You do seem to give me a lot of privileges," Barney said. "You even used some of your valuable time to personally look for me when I had that accident on the mountain. I have to wonder why I warrant so much of your interest, particularly considering how you treated my brother."

"I like having you around to annoy Shredder," Krang replied. "But aside from that, you're really not bad for an Earth scientist. Any coldness and cruelty is just a bonus."

"I can't believe you would want to annoy Shredder so much that you'd spend hours trying to find me when it was more likely to think I'd been killed," Barney said. "So you must find my scientific knowledge quite useful."

"You could say that." Krang squinted at him. "You're asking a lot of questions all of a sudden."

"That's what scientists do, you know," Barney said. "Maybe I should have been asking questions sooner."

"Hmm." Krang walked farther away from him and then turned, looking back. "Are you still happy working here?"

"If I wasn't, do you think I'd admit it?" Barney sneered.

"Good point," Krang said. "It wouldn't make any difference anyway."

"I wouldn't think so." Barney walked in the opposite direction.

"But for the sake of curiosity, what is the answer?"

Barney paused. Apparently he would have to answer something. But maybe he had a response that was both truthful and safe. "I can't say that I've ever been 'happy' anywhere."

"You are a pessimistic sort, aren't you?" Krang commented.

"It's better than living with ridiculous things like hope and faith that only get shattered." Barney looked back at his bizarre employer. "And I do appreciate that here I've been wanted for who I am and not Baxter."

"Just see that you don't forget that," Krang said. "You'll never be accepted anywhere else, after all. Where else could you go?"

Barney's expression darkened. "Nowhere. And now if you don't mind, I'm going to get breakfast."

"By all means," Krang croaked.

****

It was a peaceful day in the Lair, at least for the time being. Or at least it was, until a horrific crash from the lab brought all the Turtles and even Splinter hurrying to see what was the matter.

"Donatello, are you alright?" Leonardo asked in concern. He was ahead of the others and he jogged through the doorway and right into a huge mess strewn all over the floor. "Yipe!"

"Yipe is right," Donatello sighed. "I finally tried to stuff my closet with one gadget too many."

"Oh great. So what are you going to do with all this junk?" Raphael frowned. He leaned through the doorway and kicked the nearest nondescript item.

"Put it all back in there," Donatello shrugged. "You never know when we might need some of this stuff."

Splinter looked to the objects closest to him. "Perhaps we know that we will never need some of it," he said. "Donatello, you would do well to learn how not to hoard."

Donatello sighed. "Maybe you're right, Master Splinter. I'm sure we'll never want this again." He picked up a ray gun. "My personality-altering ray."

Leonardo shuddered. "Just keep it away from me!"

"And me," Raphael echoed.

"Yes," Splinter mused. "The personality-altering ray seemed only to cause chaos when it was used. If you decide to get rid of any of your inventions, you may want to consider that one at the top of your list."

"Why the heck did you invent a stupid thing like that anyway?" Raphael demanded.

"No real reason," Donatello shrugged. "I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe I just wanted to see if I could really build it."

"Or maybe you thought you could turn all the bad guys into pushovers," Michelangelo suggested.

"Defeating pushovers isn't much fun," Raphael said. "Or turning into them."

"Yeah." Donatello frowned as he studied the device. "I guess I really don't see any purpose in keeping this thing around. But I still feel kind of sad to think of dismantling it."

"Hey, it wouldn't be the first invention you've taken apart," Raphael said.

"Maybe that's what actually makes it harder to think of doing it again." Donatello stood. "You know, I think I'll get another scientist's perspective before I do anything else."

"You mean Baxter?" Leonardo blinked.

"Of course," said Donatello. He stepped over the disaster in the lab, still holding his personality-altering ray.

"You weren't kidding about going to see him before doing anything else," Raphael quipped. "And somehow I don't think that Baxter would be that crazy about a personality-altering gadget. Except from a purely scientific point-of-view, of course."

"That's not the point," Donatello retorted. "He would understand a scientist's devotion to their invention like no one else could. I'll see you guys later."

"Right. Bye." Raphael watched him go.

Michelangelo was bending down, looking at all the small inventions strewn on the floor. "Wow, just look at some of this stuff," he remarked. "This really brings back memories."

"Yeah. Most of them bad," Raphael said dryly.

"Donatello is very talented. Most certainly he has many . . . unique ideas," Splinter said. "But many of his inventions have proved useful."

"You know, the funny thing is, the stuff that's probably the most useful was all adapted from Baxter's work," Raphael mused. "The Turtle Van and the Turtle Blimp. He already had the basic blueprints down. Donatello just modified them for us."

Michelangelo blinked. "Hey, that's true," he said. "But Donatello's also added a lot of stuff to the Turtle Van that wasn't there at all in the first place. Like those hydraulic lifts and the pontoons and the other stuff that lets the Van go in the water."

"So ultimately, our most important inventions are a collaboration between Donatello and Baxter," Leonardo said.

"That's kinda nice to think about," Michelangelo said. "Since Baxter's our bud now and all."

"Yeah . . ." Leonardo said slowly. Although nothing more was said, they were all thinking of how Baxter's life had turned upsidedown in part because of the Turtles' blind belief that he was an enemy. It was useless to think on the past, but they all wished now that they had handled the situation differently. Baxter might have become their ally long ago if they had. And he might never have suffered as a human-fly creature.

Splinter sensed their thoughts. "What will you do while Donatello is gone?" he asked, hoping to shift their minds to something else.

"Oh. Well, I'm going to go a round of ninja practice," Leonardo said. "Want to come, Raphael?"

"Sure, why not," Raphael shrugged.

"We might all benefit from another round," Splinter said. "What about you, Michelangelo?"

"Well, I was hoping to start on some mondo new pizza recipes," Michelangelo said. "But there's nothing like a good workout to work up an appetite!"

"Very good," said Splinter. "We will begin immediately."

****

Baxter sighed to himself as he sat at his kitchen table with a newspaper and breakfast. It had been dull last night, according to the paper. And it seemed like lately, whenever that happened, the next day was very active. He had to wonder what kind of disasters might strike.

He slowly ate the bowl of cereal while his mind wandered. The dark future he and the Turtles had traveled to still bothered him. Logically it shouldn't; they had made it back to their time and kept that future from happening. But it was difficult not to think about the half-crazed version of Barney he had found.

He had hoped to see Barney when they got back, but as of now he still hadn't. At least they had had a brief email exchange. He knew Barney was alright. Or Barney said he was alright, anyway. And hopefully if he wasn't, Vincent would have hastened to let Baxter know.

It was strange working for Channel 6 and having an email address listed publicly on their website. The more he became known throughout the city as the station's scientific consultant, the more people had started to email him with science questions. He liked that, really. It was nice to be able to impart some of his knowledge. Some of the viewers contacting him were young children. Maybe some of them would grow up with an interest in science as well.

What he didn't like was that of course there were some cranks mixed in with the genuine queries. He had received more than one "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" email, some referring to having terrorized the city as a cross-fused human-fly creature and others referring to daring to be on the air after his actions as a cross-fused human-fly creature. A couple of people had asked him, as had Mr. Blodgett, if he could turn back and forth like Bugman. And some people had done little more than swear at and cyber-bully him.

He hadn't said anything about it for some time, feeling that they had a right to their anger. But one day April had caught him reading one of those emails and preparing to block the sender. She had immediately expressed concern. After all, cyber-bullying was a growing problem these days and it wasn't acceptable under any circumstances. And even if Baxter was willing to let it go, who knew who else might be getting attacked by those people. Baxter still didn't feel he had a right to go after his harassers, so April had suggested he forward all such emails to her and she would look into the matter.

She was a nice person. He definitely considered her one of his closest friends along with the Turtles and Splinter. And Irma was nice as well, albeit flighty at times. Her obsession with romance could be both appalling and exasperating. And Vernon . . . well, Baxter had hoped that their conversations and his and the girls' continuing attempts to reach out to him would have some effect. Sometimes he had the feeling that it was helping, little by little. At other times, he really wasn't sure. But that was how it had always been, Irma had informed him. She wasn't giving up, and Baxter didn't intend to either. 

For both Vernon and Barney, wittling away lifetimes of unhappiness and mistreatment wouldn't happen in a day, a week, or even a year. There probably wasn't any way to fully eliminate the scars of those years. The best Baxter could hope for would be that they would finally be willing and ready to accept the hands offered to them and be able to open happier chapters in their lives.

He glanced at the clock. He was moving much too slowly. If he didn't hurry and finish breakfast, he was going to be late for work.

****

Bebop was in the kitchen when Barney wandered in. "Oh hi, Barney," he greeted.

Barney glanced over. "Where's your constant companion?" he asked as he opened the cupboard and set about getting out the ingredients to mix up a batch of pancakes.

"Rocksteady's sleepin' in," Bebop said.

"Not for long, according to Krang," Barney grunted.

"He won't like gettin' woke up." Bebop watched Barney work. ". . . Have you always been like you are?"

Barney didn't look at him now. "What do you mean?" He poured the pancake mix into the mixing bowl and added the liquid to stir through it.

"So tough," Bebop said. "Like you won't let anybody walk all over you."

Barney shrugged. "In a life where everyone is more interested in your brother than you, you have to be tough just to get through it."

"Is that why you hate your brother so much?"

Barney frowned. "Basically, yes." Ordinarily he would have stopped there. But instead he added, "Even though it was never his fault. He couldn't help that he had a more endearing personality. He never tried to make people like him. They just did."

"But you wouldn't have got so mad if people had paid attention to you too," Bebop said. "So if you weren't born mad, doesn't that mean you could change?"

Barney scowled into the batter. "Everyone's quizzing me today."

"Gee, I'm sorry," Bebop said. "It's just that Rocksteady and me both really admire you. We've never met anybody who worked for the boss and didn't get walked all over by him."

"Mr. Shredder hates me for it. He likes minions he can rule over with an iron fist." Barney spooned some of the batter into the pan and turned on the hot plate.

"If Krang didn't like you so much, would you try to leave?"

Barney turned, giving him a sharp look. "Did Krang or Mr. Shredder put you up to this?"

"Oh no," Bebop exclaimed. "I'm just curious."

Barney frowned. He believed it, but he wasn't sure he wanted to answer the question. He wasn't even sure he knew the answer. ". . . What about you and Rocksteady?" he said instead. "You're both stronger than Shredder. You could certainly leave if you wanted and he wouldn't be able to stop you."

"Well . . . we owe him, though," Bebop stammered.

"For what?" Barney shot back. "Turning you into mutants? Forcing you to work for him? Verbally abusing you every chance he gets?"

Bebop looked at the table, seeming uncomfortable by the queries. ". . . We're a lot stronger as mutants," he said at last. "We both like it better that way."

"Really?" Barney scoffed. "You can't even associate with your families." He flipped the pancakes over.

"Hey, are you tryin' to get us to leave?" Bebop blinked behind his shades.

"I just wonder why you want to stay." Barney reached into the cupboard and took out the syrup.

". . . Where else would we go?" Bebop said, barely above a whisper.

Barney turned back to the stove, a dark and self-depreciating smirk playing on his lips. "Where indeed," he muttered.

****

It was a cold winter day as Donatello drove through the New York streets. Baxter would probably be at work by now, he decided, so he headed in the direction of Channel 6.

The last thing he expected to see on the way there was a portal opening and Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady emerging. Rocksteady was holding something that looked very much like Krang's Relaxatron.

"Oh no," Donatello said under his breath. "Krang or Barney must have rebuilt the Relaxatron!" He pulled over to the side of the road. "There's no time to call the others. I'll have to find out what they're up to on my own."

Of course, Shredder spun around the instant Donatello got out of the Van. "Here's your first victim," he said to Rocksteady. "One of the Turtles."

"Oh goody!" Rocksteady turned, pointing the Relaxatron at Donatello. "You're gonna get all nice and relaxed again!"

"Not this time!" Donatello retorted. He struck out with his bo, sending the gun out of Rocksteady's hand. But the beam had already activated. It struck the personality-altering ray through the Van's open door and both beams redirected right at Shredder. He flew back with a cry.

"Uh oh!" Bebop gasped.

"You Turtle creep!" Rocksteady fumed. "Look what you've done to the boss!"

Donatello gripped his bo, looking from Shredder to the two rays. "It wouldn't have happened if you guys hadn't shown up to start causing trouble again," he said. But inwardly he worried. He shouldn't have left the door open. What was going to happen from both of those rays activating at once?

Shredder sat up with a groan. "Oh . . . what happened? I feel so strange."

"Are you okay, Boss?" Rocksteady asked.

"Okay?" Shredder blinked. "I'm great!" He got up, swaying from side to side. "Is there a meadow around here? I'd like to go lay in a garden of flowers and just soak up their beauty."

"Oh no," Bebop gasped. "What's wrong with the boss?!"

"It must be the effect of both of those rays hitting him at once," Donatello exclaimed.

Rocksteady watched as Shredder continued to sway and stumble towards the corner. "Where are you goin', Boss? We need to get zapping people with the Relaxatron!"

"Oh, I don't want to do that," Shredder answered. "That's way too much work. And it would be so mean besides."

"This is even worse than we thought," Bebop said in alarm. "We'd better call Krang." He took out his comm-link.

Krang looked highly irritated when he answered the communication. "What's going on?!" he demanded. "We're watching everything on the transdimensional screen!"

"Well, then you know what's goin' on, Krang," Bebop said. "The boss got hit by the Relaxatron and some other funny ray that one of the Turtles had with him."

"It's a personality-altering ray," Donatello put in.

"Now he's actin' all nice and stuff!" Rocksteady said. "What do we do?!"

"Obviously you'll have to blast him with both rays set in reverse!" Krang shot back. "Is that simple enough for you?!"

"Yeah, Krang, only . . ." Bebop looked up and gulped. "The boss ain't here now."

"What?! Where did he go?!"

"Somewhere with the Relaxatron," Bebop said. "We don't see him anywhere!"

"Well, find him, you morons!" Krang screamed.

Donatello looked around, his eyes wide in his bewilderment. "I can hardly believe this is happening," he gasped. "What kind of disaster is going to happen with a nice Shredder and a Relaxatron?!" Quickly he pulled out his Turtle-Comm. "Maybe it wouldn't have happened if I'd taken the time to call the guys before!"

Leonardo swiftly answered the call. "Hi, Donatello. What's up? Did you talk to Baxter?"

"I haven't found him yet," Donatello answered morosely. "Something really bizarre just happened." And he relayed the tale while an appalled Leonardo listened.

"So let me get this straight," Raphael said in the background. "Shred-Head got hit by your personality-altering ray and the Relaxatron, he's nice enough to put Mr. Rogers to shame, and he wandered off somewhere with said Relaxatron."

"That's about the size of it," Donatello nodded.

"I don't know whether to laugh or be disturbed," Raphael snarked.

"We'll have to find him to get the Relaxatron away from him, if nothing else," Leonardo said. "Where are you?"

"A couple of blocks from Channel 6," Donatello replied.

"We'll be right out." The call ended and Donatello sighed. This was certainly not how he had planned to spend his morning. And it wouldn't have happened if he hadn't taken his personality-altering ray out of the Lair. That was something he could never stop groaning about.

****

Baxter was indeed running late that morning. He should have already arrived at work, but he hadn't. And the last thing he expected to discover as he drove down the streets was Shredder stumbling along as though he were drunk. Baxter was forced to slam on the brakes to keep from running him down. He leaned out the window in confused aggravation. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm drinking in this beautiful day," Shredder answered. "I never realized how amazing this world is. I can't possibly conquer it. That would take too much effort anyway."

Baxter slumped back. "I have no words. This must be an imposter."

Shredder paused, really looking at him. "Oh Baxter, it's you. I need to apologize to you for all the nasty things I said to you. Not to mention what I did. It's my fault you were turned into that horrible fly creature. I sent you through the portal to Krang." He came forward and placed his hands on the hood of the car. "I don't know how I've ever lived with myself all this time, knowing how rotten I treated you."

Baxter stared at him. "Now I know you're an imposter." He pulled out his Turtle-Comm.

"Oh, are you calling the Turtles?" Shredder exclaimed. "Good! Tell them all to come here. I must apologize to them as well. And Splinter! Splinter must come with them."

"With any luck, none of them will come here," Baxter muttered.

Donatello was the one who answered the call. "Oh hi, Baxter." He sounded and looked distracted. "How are you?"

"Very, very confused," Baxter shot back. "I just ran into Shredder and he's actually acting sorry for everything he's done to hurt me. And now he's saying he wants to apologize to you. He either has to be an imposter or else he's trying some new way of leading you into a trap. And I would hope he wouldn't think any of us would fall for his badly executed tricks."

"Unfortunately, it's not a trick," Donatello sheepishly told him. "And it's kind of my fault. Is he still there?"

"He's . . ." Baxter stiffened. "He's curled up and gone to sleep on the hood of my car!"

"That must be the Relaxatron's effects," Donatello exclaimed. "If you can keep him there, I can catch up and get it away from him."

"I don't see any Relaxatron," Baxter said doubtfully.

"Maybe it's under his cape," Donatello suggested. "Can you look?"

Baxter cringed. "Touch his cape, let alone lift it? You're asking me to commit suicide!"

"Not the way he is now," Donatello said. "He got blasted by both the Relaxatron and the personality-altering ray. Any niceness he's showing to you isn't a trick."

Baxter paused for a long moment. "What personality-altering ray?"

Now Donatello cringed. "I forgot, you don't know. It's something I invented a while back. I was bringing it to show you, actually. I was going to dismantle it because it's always caused us trouble, but I wanted your opinion on it first. If I hadn't done that, this disaster with Shredder wouldn't have happened."

"After what I've just witnessed, I would recommend dismantling it immediately," Baxter retorted. He climbed out of his car slowly and with a sigh. "On your word I'll try to look under his cape for the Relaxatron."

Even having said that, it was extremely difficult for him to go through with it. He reached out to take hold of the cape and withdrew his hand again. Despite the show of "niceness," he could scarcely believe that it was safe to touch any part of his nemesis at all. If it had been when he had worked for Shredder, he never would have dared. Touching Shredder then would have resulted in hours of verbal abuse and he didn't know what else.

At last he forced himself to do it. But when he did, he stared in dismay. There was no sign of the Relaxatron.

"He doesn't have it," he hissed to Donatello. "He must have dropped it somewhere."

"Oh great," Donatello moaned.

Shredder stirred and stretched. Baxter jumped back. But Shredder merely said, "That was a nice nap. Forgive me for taking it on your vehicle, Baxter."

"Shredder, what did you do with the Relaxatron?" Baxter demanded.

"Relaxatron?" Shredder sounded and looked vaguely confused. "I think I hid it somewhere so Bebop and Rocksteady can't do mean things with it."

"You think?!" Donatello cried from the Turtle-Comm. "Where did you hide it, Shredder?!"

"I . . . honestly don't remember," Shredder said. "I'm sorry, Donatello. I have to go now. I see a little old lady who needs to be helped across the street."

Donatello's mouth dropped open. "Is he really . . . ?"

"Yes, he is," Baxter gawked. "Your personality-altering ray is obviously extremely potent."

"I wish I could think that this is a good thing," Donatello said. "But somehow I have the feeling that it's only going to cause more trouble."

"What do you want me to do?"

Donatello answered the question with another question. "Did you see the direction he came from?"

"He was coming from the right," Baxter reported.

"Great! Then I'll come to where you are and start trying to retrace his steps to find the Relaxatron. I know you need to get to work."

"I do, but I have the feeling that Mr. Thompson would send me right back out here to investigate this story," Baxter said. "I'll check in with Miss O'Neil."

"I'll be there in a couple of minutes," Donatello promised.

****

"Oh, I can't believe those idiots!" Krang wailed, raising his tiny arms in aggravation. "A simple assignment and they even botch that! Now Shredder is acting so nice, he makes Pollyanna look like Ma Barker!"

"And even if we find him, the Turtles might not let us change him back," Barney frowned. "It would certainly be to their advantage not to."

"That's no problem," Krang insisted. "I have equipment here that can change him back." He clomped towards the transport modules. "You and I had better join the search. I don't trust leaving it to those nincompoops."

"I'll be right there." Barney hurried to his laboratory and grabbed the laptop.

"We're going out after all?" Vincent said in surprise.

"Something went wrong. Of course." Barney rolled his eyes. "Now Shredder got hit by the ray as well as by some idiotic invention of Donatello's and wandered off being Mr. Nice Guy. And we have to find him."

"Shredder's nice?!" Vincent sounded excited. "Then we could get out right now and he wouldn't stop us!"

Barney frowned. "He'd come after us as soon as he was back to normal. So would Krang. Anyway, Krang's counting on me to help. I don't want to let him down."

Vincent sighed. "But you're willing to keep letting Baxter down."

Barney's voice turned cool. ". . . I try to help him when I can."

"But you know what he wants the most is to see you get away from here," Vincent insisted.

"Well, we can't always have everything we want, can we." Barney headed for the door. "We can't keep talking. Krang's waiting. It will look suspicious if I don't come."

"Alright, Buddy. Please don't be angry with me."

"You always tell me the truth I don't want to hear. How can I not be angry?" Barney reached for the door. ". . . But more at myself than you." He opened it and hurried down the corridor.

Knowing they couldn't risk Krang hearing him, Vincent stayed silent.

****

"I still don't know what to think about this idea of tracking down Tin Grin," Raphael said as he, Leonardo, and Michelangelo walked down the street towards the Channel 6 building. "If Donatello hasn't completely lost his mind, then Shredder has lost his. And wouldn't that be a whole lot better for us?"

"He'd be back to normally eventually," Leonardo said. "Krang and Barney probably know how to do it."

"Yeah, and I can just hear Master Splinter lecturing about 'To thine own self be true' and Shred-Head being nice because of those ray gun blasts wouldn't be genuine and all that kinda stuff," Michelangelo said. "He made us turn Doctor von Shrink back to his normal self after the cops took him away. And remember when we thought Leonardo lightening up would be such a great idea and then it was totally bogus?"

Both Raphael and Leonardo cringed. "How could we ever forget," Raphael sighed.

"I wish I could," said Leonardo.

"Well, so maybe Shred-Head being nice will end up backfiring too," Michelangelo said.

"How could him being nice cause a problem?" Raphael retorted. "Unless it ends up rotting our teeth from the sheer sappiness."

"Hello, world!" Shredder suddenly exclaimed.

The Turtles jumped a mile. "He's on that flagpole!" Leonardo said in disbelief.

Indeed, Shredder was halfway up a flagpole and swinging his free arm out. Passers-by were starting to stop and stare.

"I love you all!" Shredder cried. "From now on I vow to work against Krang and his evil plots to conquer your fair city. . . . As long as it doesn't interfere with my nap."

Several people began to boo.

"Get off of that flagpole!" yelled one.

"You've got no right to be up there!" said another.

"We don't believe anything you say!" said a third.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Shredder. "Of course you don't believe me." He slid back to the ground. "But I will prove to you that I am sincere!" He hurried off down the street, even as the people began to throw things at him.

"Does that answer your question, Raphael?" Leonardo frowned.

"Okay, so maybe he'll cause a few riots," Raphael shrugged. "But what if he actually manages to take out Krang? Wouldn't that be some incredible irony?"

"Judging from how often he wears down, I would highly doubt he would manage it," said Baxter as he drove over to them. "Not to mention the fact that the personality-altering ray has made him so nice that I can't picture him doing anything to hurt anyone, including the other villains."

"Baxter!" Leonardo smiled. "Hi. Where's Donatello?"

"Looking for the Relaxatron," Baxter replied. "I decided I should try to keep track of Shredder. Get in."

The three Turtles climbed into the station wagon and Baxter drove across the street and around the corner, following Shredder's trail.

"He can't have got that far away," Raphael said in frustration.

"Well, he's sure not around here," Leonardo sighed. "It could take us a while to catch up with him again."

"We'll see," said Baxter.

****

Bebop and Rocksteady were not pleased. They had been trying to catch up with Shredder as well, and now that they finally had him in sight, there didn't seem to be any trace of the Relaxatron.

"Hey, Boss," Rocksteady called. "What happened to the Relaxatron?"

"Oh, I hid that," Shredder said. "I can't have anyone doing mean things with it!"

"But Krang is gonna be real angry," Bebop protested.

"Then let him! I still have to follow my conscience." Shredder paused, staring down at the sidewalk. "Oh no! Someone dropped a penny!" He picked it up. "I'll have to turn it in to this store's lost-and-found!"

Bebop and Rocksteady exchanged a look. "Gee, this is gettin' us nowhere," Bebop frowned.

"It's all that Turtle's fault!" Rocksteady said in frustration. "If he hadn't brought that stupid ray of his along and tried to fight us, none of this would have happened!"

Bebop watched as Shredder really did enter the store and speak with an employee about the penny. "I wonder if there's any way we can take advantage of this situation and turn it around for our own good."

"I'm listening," Rocksteady said.

"Well, this morning I talked to Barney and he wondered why we stay on," Bebop said. "Why don't we see if we can get some more benefits while the boss is in this good mood?"

"Aww, he'd probably take them all away when he gets back to normal," Rocksteady sighed.

"It'd be fun for a while, at least," Bebop said.

Shredder emerged from the store with a sigh. "They don't think a penny is anything to worry about," he said. "Can you believe how some supposedly good people are so willing to steal?"

"Uh, I always thought that money on the street was finders keepers," Bebop said.

"That's barbaric!" Shredder cried. "Well, anyway, I made the clerk promise to put the penny in the lost-and-found anyway."

"That's real nice of you, Boss," Rocksteady said. "So, what are you gonna do now?"

"Oh, I think I'll buy some treats for the children," Shredder said.

"What children?" Bebop asked.

"Any that come around!" Shredder grandly replied. "I'll stand on a street corner or maybe in the park and hand out toys and candy."

"Gee." Bebop scratched his head. "Say, Boss, do you think you could give Rocksteady and me some money so we could go to the arcade?"

"Why, of course!" Shredder reached for his wallet. "How much would you like?"

Again the mutants exchanged a look. "How much will you give us?" Rocksteady asked.

"Here! Take twenty! No, fifty!" Shredder handed out two fifties. "Go have fun!"

They gaped at the huge denominations. "Wow," Rocksteady gasped. "Thanks, Boss!"

"Yeah, thanks!" Bebop grabbed Rocksteady by the arm and escorted him up the street. "Now we can play for hours at the arcade and still have enough to buy a new game or two!"

"I just wonder what the boss is gonna say when he comes back down to Earth," Rocksteady gulped.

"Maybe he won't remember what he did," Bebop said. "And if he asks how we got the new games, we can always say that he gave us that much money without us having to ask for it."

"That's true," Rocksteady mused. "We didn't ask him for any particular amount."

"So we can just have fun today and not worry about anything," Bebop grinned. "There's an arcade just around the corner."

"Oh boy!" said Rocksteady. But then he paused, worried again. "I wonder what Krang will say, though. He's probably going to call us."

"Just turn off your comm-link," Bebop said.

"He'll be really mad," Rocksteady protested.

"He'll probably forget all about it," Bebop said. "He doesn't think we're helpful anyway."

"You're right!" Appeased, Rocksteady turned off his comm-link with glee. "Today is gonna be so fun!"

Bebop grinned. "It sure is."

****

Donatello jumped a mile when a transport module came through the ground and landed right near where he was desperately searching for the Relaxatron. "Oh great," he sighed. He stepped back, watching as the door opened and Krang and Barney got out.

"Well, fancy meeting you here," Krang sneered. "I take it you haven't found Shredder."

"No, I haven't." Donatello paused, debating whether to tell him that Shredder had hidden the Relaxatron. Then he smiled to himself. Of course he wouldn't. Instead he said, "The last time I saw him, he was helping a little old lady across the street."

"Tell me this isn't happening," Krang groaned.

"What direction did he take?" Barney asked. His ever-present laptop was in his hands.

"Oh, I'm not sure," Donatello said. "I was talking to Baxter on our Turtle-Comms at the time. He was the one who saw it firsthand."

"Typical." Krang threw his arms in the air. "Barney, do you have any way of contacting that brother of yours?"

"Why would I?" Barney retorted.

Donatello certainly wasn't about to acknowledge that Barney did indeed have a way. He just smiled and walked on to continue his search.

Behind him, he heard Krang say, "Get on Channel 6's website and go to the Employees page. He probably has an email address listed. That's the way most news stations do things now."

"Is it really that important which direction Mr. Shredder took?" Barney said boredly. "By now he might have wandered somewhere completely different."

"You're probably right, but it's all we have," Krang grumbled.

"It could take a long time to contact Baxter and get a reply back," Barney pointed out. "He might not be in a position to answer right now. We should resume searching while I try to contact him."

"But then we might find we're going in the completely opposite direction!" Krang wailed.

Barney turned to watch Donatello. "What I would like to know is why he continues to look around here. If Mr. Shredder were here, we'd know it by now. Obviously he is looking for something else. The Relaxatron, perhaps?"

"But Shredder is supposed to have that with him," Krang frowned.

"Maybe he doesn't anymore," Barney answered. "He could have dropped it somewhere along his route. Or even deliberately hid it."

"Hmm," said Krang. "Maybe we should follow him for a while."

Barney smirked. "Exactly what I was thinking."

****

By now the other Turtles and Baxter were thoroughly exasperated by their futile search.

"Oh, it's no use," Leonardo sighed. "It doesn't look like we're ever going to find Shredder at this rate!"

"Now we're coming up on the park," Raphael announced. "If he's in there, fat chance we'll ever find him!"

At that moment Leonardo's Turtle-Comm went off. Surprised, he opened it. "Hi, April," he greeted. "What's up?"

"You'll never believe this," April exclaimed. "I'm right here watching it and I don't believe it! I know Dr. Stockman said that Shredder had been hit by some weird rays, but he's standing in the park handing out candy to any kids who come by!"

"Whoa, talk about the right timing, Dudes," Michelangelo said. "But like, that is mondo creepy. Are the kids taking the candy?"

"Some are and some aren't," April said. "Shredder hasn't noticed me yet. I think I'd like to keep it that way."

"Where are you, April?" Leonardo asked. "We'll come over there."

"I have the personality-altering ray," Baxter said. "Donatello gave it to me when we met earlier. Although I don't know that we should use it until Donatello brings the Relaxatron."

"Well, we can keep an eye on Shredder, at least," Leonardo said.

"Shredder's over near the entrance to the zoo," April sighed.

"We'll be there as soon as possible," Leonardo promised.

****

It was Donatello's luck that he happened to find the Relaxatron first. "Thank goodness," he said under his breath when he lifted a bush and found the ray gun nestled underneath. "Now I just have to get back to the others."

Krang and Barney only caught up with him after he had already gotten in the Turtle Van and was driving away. "Oh no! He's leaving!" Krang cried. "And it looks like he has the Relaxatron!"

"Don't worry." Barney flicked a small disc through the air, where it attached itself to the back of the Turtle Van. "It's a miniature homing beacon," he grinned. "We can track it on my laptop."

Krang's eyes lit up. "Excellent! We'll get the module and follow him. Then he'll have an unpleasant surprise!" He chortled.

Barney looked away, not joining in the laughter as he balanced the laptop with one hand and typed with the other.

****

As luck would also have it, Baxter was not able to avoid Shredder seeing the station wagon when he arrived at the proper location.

"Baxter! Turtles!" Shredder cried. He rushed over to the car. "My dearest friends!"

"Like, not in any universe, Dude," Michelangelo retorted as he climbed out.

Shredder promptly glomped him while he struggled in horror. "It's so good to see you all again! Won't you have some candy?" Shredder let him go and turned to Leonardo and Raphael, who both backed up. "Or better yet, a song!"

"Song?" Raphael repeated.

Half-hidden in the bushes, April continued to film. "I still can't believe it!" she said to herself. "Who'd think that any power on Earth could make Shredder act like this?"

Donatello drove up before anything further could happen. "Guys!" he called as he leaped out of the Turtle Van. "I've got the Relaxatron!"

"Great!" Leonardo said in relief. "Let's hurry and use both rays on Shredder before . . ."

Shredder grabbed him and Raphael without warning.

The transport module drove up seconds later. As the door opened and Krang and Barney took in the sight, Krang immediately looked away. "I can't watch," he gasped. "It's too horrible."

Barney just kept staring. Shredder was rocking from side to side, his arms draped over Leonardo and Raphael's shoulders, as he sang. "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family . . ."

"Donatello! Baxter! Use the rays!" Raphael screamed. "I take back everything I said! I want the old Shredder back! Now!"

Donatello, who was gaping in shock, tried to shake himself out of it. "You've got it! Alright, Baxter, on three. One, two . . ."

Baxter held up the personality-altering ray. "Three."

Both rays glowed as the combined beams hit Shredder square in the chest. He fell back, crashing hard on the ground. The Turtles tensed, preparing for a possible attack.

"Oh . . . what happened?" Shredder half-growled, half-groaned. "What am I doing here?"

Krang stomped onto the grass and grabbed Shredder under his arms. "Nevermind that!" he fumed. "We're leaving, now!"

Shredder struggled against him. "But I want to thrash the Turtles!"

"Forget the Turtles!" Krang shrieked. "You've been handing out candy and playing Barney the Dinosaur! No more Turtles! We're going back to the Technodrome!"

Shredder just gawked at him. "I've been . . . what?!"

"Yeah, it was a real Kodak moment," Michelangelo smirked.

Shredder's eyes burned. "It's all your fault!" he roared, looking to Donatello. "I'll get you for this, you wretched reptile!"

Donatello just smiled. "You know, it really is good to have the old Shredder back."

While all of this was going on, Barney quietly slipped behind the Turtle Van and studied his homing beacon. It hadn't been noticed yet. If he left it there, it might remain unnoticed and it would track the Turtles back to their Lair. That was information Shredder and Krang had been after for years. Barney had thought of giving it to them as recently as the escapade with the Golden Goose. But what had happened during that disaster had greatly changed him, just as Vincent had noticed. Did he really want to be responsible for Shredder and Krang learning the location of the Lair? He hadn't been able to live with himself for temporarily turning Michelangelo to gold. If Shredder stormed the Lair, whatever happened in there would be permanent. And it would be Barney's fault.

He reached down, plucking the beacon off of the Van.

Suddenly the point of a sai was at his throat. "Just what do you think you're doing?!" Raphael snarled. "Trying to get in a little sabotage, eh?"

Barney went stiff. He knew Raphael hated him, and with good reason. He didn't trust that Raphael wouldn't run him through here and now.

"No!" Vincent exclaimed. "No, Barney was trying to do the right thing and help you!"

"Yeah, right." Raphael grabbed a fistful of Barney's sweater vest and his shirt and shoved him up against the back doors of the Van. "What were you really doing, you little creep?! Huh?! Tell me!"

Barney slowly opened his fist. "I took this off of your vehicle," he said quietly. "I used it to track Donatello here. Its purpose has been served; we don't need it anymore."

Raphael looked at it. "If that's really a homing device, getting rid of it's the last thing you'd do! It could lead Shredder right into the Lair!"

Barney struggled to pull away. "That wasn't its purpose."

Raphael slammed him against the doors again. "Then you'd re-purpose it!"

Baxter ran around just in time to see the second slam. "What are you doing?!" he cried. "Raphael, you're hurting him!"

"Yeah, you're always worried about him, aren't you?!" Raphael snapped. "And you know what he was doing?! Planting a bug! Only he tried to bluff and say he was taking it off instead of putting it on!"

"He's telling you the truth!" Vincent sounded angry now.

"Oh, shut up, you creepy bucket of bolts," Raphael snarled.

"Raphael, what's going on?!" Leonardo demanded. He and the other Turtles were coming around now to see. April, finished with her filming, started over as well.

"Yes, Raphael, what's going on?!" came another voice. A hulking shadow fell across the group.

Raphael looked up as Krang glowered at the scene. Raphael looked from Barney, whom he was still holding fast against the doors, to Baxter's fearful, pleading eyes. He looked down at the homing beacon in Barney's palm. He looked back up at Krang's merciless scowl. An image of Barney being dragged down the hall to the disintegration chamber flashed through his mind.

". . . I found this on the Van," he said, grabbing the homing beacon from Barney and holding it up. "I figured out right away where it came from and I confronted this weasel about it. He admitted putting it there!" He spun Barney away from the doors and shoved him forward. "Take your crummy scientist and get out of here!"

Barney stumbled but righted himself. He looked back, fixing Raphael with shocked eyes.

Baxter ran forward. "Barney!" He stared at his brother. "What . . ."

Barney just gave him a cool look. "You heard what your friend said." And he walked forward to Krang.

"Let's go," Krang grumped. "Now we have to find Bebop and Rocksteady. Those two yo-yos turned off their comm-links, but the GPS is still pinpointing their location. They're at an arcade!"

"Typical." Barney looked up at the robot body. "Where's the Relaxatron?"

"The Turtles smashed it, of course!" Krang snarled. "If only that Turtle hadn't found the homing beacon you attached to bring us here! It could have led us right to the Lair!"

Barney didn't offer a response to that. He simply climbed into the module along with Krang. The door closed and the vehicle dove down under the surface.

Baxter whipped around to face Raphael. "Would someone please explain what just happened?!" he cried.

Raphael shoved his sai into his belt. "I just lied to Krang," he confessed in frustration. "I didn't find that thing. I found Barney claiming he was taking it off, that he'd only put it on to track Donatello here."

Michelangelo blinked. "But they really could have used it to get to the Lair," he gasped.

Baxter's shoulders slumped in his relief. "And Barney didn't want that."

"I didn't believe him, or that alien computer," Raphael said. "I could have just turned him over to Krang and got him in hot water by saying what he claimed. But I . . . I couldn't." He looked away. "I wondered, what if he was actually telling the truth? I hate him, but was I really going to let that hate cause me to get somebody killed . . . especially if maybe he really was trying to help? And I guess I . . . I couldn't see myself sending Barney to his death right in front of your eyes." He looked to Baxter.

"I would hope not!" Baxter exclaimed.

"So what does this mean?" Donatello wondered.

"Duh! It means that Barney really is a good guy, just like Baxter keeps saying," Michelangelo said.

"He is not a good guy!" Raphael screamed in frustration. He pounded the door with his fist. "He turned you to gold! There's no forgiveness for that! I'll never forgive him for that!"

Michelangelo just watched him. "Yeah, but . . . is that really going to make you feel good, Raphael?" he said quietly. "He never wanted to hurt me. I saw it in his eyes even when he was using the goose on me. I don't think he would have done it if it couldn't be reversed. And I think if it couldn't have been . . . he never would have got over it."

Raphael crossed his arms and fumed. "You know, he was trying to get us to kill each other way back the first time we ever went up against him. He tried to make me kill April! If Baxter hadn't suddenly jumped out and distracted him, he would've kept on with it."

"Maybe he would have," Baxter agreed. "Or maybe he wouldn't have. I don't think we can really know one way or the other. What I do know is that every time he has hurt someone, he has regretted it immediately. And that includes Michelangelo as well as myself. Barney tries to be something he's not to impress Shredder and Krang, or maybe because he's so filled with anger, but it never works. No matter how hard he tries to convince them that he's tough and he's heartless, he just isn't. I think he's given up trying to convince himself of that, at least. He knows he just can't do it. And that is why he didn't go through with what might have been a death sentence for all of you by leaving the homing beacon on the Van."

Raphael's shoulders slumped now. "He doesn't deserve you as his brother," he mumbled. "He never did."

"But he has me, and I'll keep pointing out the good in him and fighting for him to recognize it too for as long as it takes," Baxter insisted.

". . . It's probably like he said in that crummy future, that you two will never be close like you're hoping," Raphael said.

"He's still my brother," Baxter said. "Yes, I still long for us to share a closeness even half as beautiful as what you have with the other Turtles, but I know it's a fantasy. He will never be what I would like him to be. I have to accept him for what he is. I have to love him for what he is."

"And do you?" Raphael asked.

Baxter looked firmly into his eyes. "Yes."

Raphael had to look away. "Well, good for you. At least somebody does. I just hope someday he appreciates it."

"He appreciates it," Baxter said softly. "I've seen how he's softened of late. Of course our problems are far from over, but at least some of his anger has slowly been melting away."

"And that's awesome," Michelangelo put in. "Baby steps, but he's getting there."

Baxter looked to Michelangelo and smiled. "Exactly."

Leonardo laid a hand on Baxter's shoulder. "You've really learned a lot these last several months."

"I couldn't have without all of you," Baxter said. "Yes, you too, Raphael."

Raphael shrugged and looked away, but he was clearly touched. "Aww well . . . I'm a Turtle. We're supposed to be good examples and all that mush. It's what we do."

"And I think what I'm going to do is go home and start taking this thing apart," Donatello sighed, holding up the personality-altering ray.

"Good!" the other Turtles and Baxter said in unison.

"Maybe I can put the pieces to better use," Donatello went on.

"I'm sure you can," Baxter said. "There's always another way to utilize the parts of a failed invention."

"I still feel kind of sad to do it," Donatello said. "But every time it's out, it only causes trouble. I know dismantling it is for the best."

"And Master Splinter would be proud of you for recognizing that," Leonardo said. "I am too."

Donatello smiled a bit. "Thanks, Leonardo."

April held up her camera. "So I guess the question now is, do I air all this footage of Shredder gone nuts?"

"Do you really have to air the 'I love you, you love me' part?" Raphael groaned.

April looked amused. "I _could_ chop it out, but that's the highlight of the reel!"

"April, you and I strongly disagree on what makes a highlight," Raphael declared.

Everyone laughed.

****

Barney was completely wound up by the time they returned to the Technodrome and he retreated to his laboratory. He set the laptop on the table and started to pace. "What is it with these Turtles?!" he exclaimed. "The one I hurt forgives me. The one who hates me still saves my life! He had my future right in his hands. All he had to do was repeat what I told him and it probably would have been curtains for me!"

"Baxter was able to heal from their examples," Vincent said. "They are likely showing you what they showed to him."

"It doesn't make sense. None of it makes sense!" Barney threw his fists in the air.

"If you could just accept and listen to them, maybe you could find peace the way Baxter has." Vincent watched his friend sadly. "But you won't, will you?"

"It's not that I won't. I can't." Barney slumped into his chair. "I've lived a life of anger and hatred. I can't get rid of that so easily. I would never show mercy on someone who hurt me the way I've hurt them!"

"I guess that's right, because the one who hurts you the most is . . . you," said Vincent. "And you will never show mercy to yourself."

Barney crossed his arms on the edge of the table and rested his forehead on them. "How can I, after all I've done?" he whispered. "There is no forgiveness for me."

"Maybe not from yourself," Vincent agreed. "But someone has already shown you forgiveness. Do you want it?"

"Of course I want it," Barney spat. "But I don't deserve it. How can I accept what I shouldn't have?"

"Oh Barney." Vincent watched him sorrowfully. "I wish I knew how to help you. I really wish I knew."

Barney sighed. "You do help me," he said. "Maybe I'm not what you hope I'll be, but you have still helped me a great deal. I never had anyone to talk to before. I know, I could have, if I'd been willing to talk to Baxter. But I wasn't."

"You needed someone to talk to," Vincent agreed. "We both did. But what are you going to do about it, Barney? Are you going to stay stuck in this rut? Are you?"

Barney looked up at the ceiling. "If I honestly thought I could get out, stay alive while doing so, and not endanger anyone else in the process, I would do it," he admitted. "But the only way out is death. Krang all but admitted it. I was so desperate to be somebody, so starved for someone to want me and not Baxter, that I took a dead-end road. And it was also a one-way road, Vincent. There's no way back. The best I can hope for is that I can get you out someday. But when I do . . . it's because I'll know that my end is near."

"Barney, Buddy . . . I don't want to leave without you," Vincent protested.

"At least I know what's best for my only friend," Barney said. "Even if I never knew what was best for me."

Vincent could tell that Barney's mind was made up. So he sighed and said nothing more on the matter.

But privately, he still hoped---and even prayed to Barney's Earth God---that when that time came, Barney would be wrong and he could still get out alive too.


End file.
